Words to Live By

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

Some Beach, Somewhere

Listening to the Best Coast - Summer Mood and that's exactly what I'm in.

I got summer on the brain.

Behind My Home

I want my own backyard, my own secret garden. Give me a hammock, a pitcher of pink lemonade, and pup with a tennis ball and I'll be a happy girl. 

The Greatest Barrier to Success is the Fear of Failure.

My biggest fear in life is being incapable. What if I am unable to accomplish my dreams because of my self-doubt and fear of failure? My whole life I’ve quit something before I was able to fail. Failure was never certain, but always a possibility and my dignity was always more important. I am constantly building impossible walls for people to overcome to get close to me. I am forever making tasks more difficult than they truly are. I am relentlessly looking for possible routes of escape. I am on the run, but I am sitting still.

It’s hard for me to grapple; I am always saying I want to do big things and overcome many obstacles but I am actually the girl hiding under her covers looking for reasons to turn opportunities away. What will I really do with my life if I stay cowering in this corner?

I am so eager for a new life but do nothing to make headway. I sit, I plan, I dream, but there is never implementation. I am a dreamer, a hopeless dreamer drowning in her own “what-ifs” destined to sink with the weight of the world on her shoulders and to be overcome by her weaknesses.

I am a hypocrite. I am a naysayer. I am scared.

Where the Heart Is.

I like to look at Craigslist and pick cities I wouldn't mind running off to. I click on houses that I could afford and try to picture myself living in them. 

I imagine the gnome I would place atop the front steps, the flowers I'd plant along the house, the cold walk to the mailbox on winter mornings. I picture, perfectly, the cozy couch in my living room and the coffee mugs in the cupboards, the wilting house plants in the windowsill, and the letters from Mom in a box under my bed.

I want trick-or-treaters and coffee brewing every autumn, Christmas lights and holiday parties each winter. I want blooming buds and butterflies in my yard during the spring, inviting my closest friends to indulge in backyard barbecues and homemade lemonade come summertime. 

I want to make memories.

I want a home.

Forever Stamps

Dearest Friend

On slow Sunday nights such as these, the heart longs for someone to share intimate words with, someone with a soft touch and kind voice, with eyes of quiet understanding, and lips of the softest lavender, that are parted by the most passionate poetry. This welcome guest may go by many names, but is known best by one; woman. The kind that creeps in and steals your heart the moment she asks for your name. The kind of woman knight of old went to war for, and killed for, and died for. The one who, on nights like these, would also be found in her room, perhaps wrestling with thoughts and emotions similar to my own. Or perhaps she thinks of nothing, she justs sits peacefully atop her bed, in all her simple beauty, legs crossed "indian-style", scratching the ear of a whimpering young pup, as it kicks and squirms in its sleep, undoubtedly inflicting terror upon creatures smaller than itself in some nameless, sun-drenched field.

Some would call this woman a girl, for she adorns her soft hair with flowers, and greatly enjoys mischief, but few realize how much more she is than that. More than any one person could fully understand. And so she only gives small pieces of herself to those around her, but it is more than enough to get them drunk, and to make them long for just a little bit more, just one more fix. Yes, she is most certainly a drug, her company makes one feel dizzy, her gaze gives one the shakes, her smile makes you weak, and her laugh will send you soaring higher than you ever thought possible. But, alas, once this beautiful deity exits, she will leave a substantial hole in her counterpart's world. Yes, she is lovely, but she is also quite dangerous, for the day will undoubtedly come when that laugh, and that smile, and that soul-probing gaze will no longer be reserved for you. Just like the beautiful sunset, her warmth and light is fleeting, running unabatedly into cold darkness. Where you shall remain as her light travels on, to the Eastern coasts to light up the world of someone new. But, dear friend, this occurrence is nothing new, tragedies such as these have been taking place for as long as there have been poor saps to write about them. 

This woman is not easily replaces, and certainly not easily forgotten. It takes a lifetime of searching to find another of the same caliber as this one, and even still, all this replacement stands to do is serve as a reminder of the one you loved and lost all that time ago. So take heed, would-be suiters of the world, for the frailty, the name is woman.

My first love letter.

Love and Noodles

I have been saying to myself "love and noodles" since I started nursing school. It's my little motivation to keep pushing through just a few more years. I'm chasing love...and noodles.


I picture myself really living. Scared, alone, and in a new city. I'm 2,000 miles away from the place I knew as home and I'm starting fresh. I want an old run down studio apartment in a hidden treasure of a neighborhood in an old brick building with horrible heating, a place to call my own. When I'm feeling lonely I'll turn to pasta. It's been my staple my entire life and pasta and I have an unbreakable bond. I'll have a bowl of mac and cheese and push through.
I also want to find love. I want to find love in a kind, gentle man, with a good head on his shoulders and an adventurous side. Someone to share my new life with and a best friend to pal around with.
I'll find my niche and nursing is my ticket. I'll travel the world and make a difference in someone' life all while funding my dreams. 


Ramen noodles in college. Angel hair pasta in my studio apartment. Spaghetti alla carbonara in Italy. Mac and cheese with my children. Adventure and accomplishments. Good company and life long memories. Love and Noodles. 

Thankful

I am thankful for this cup of hazelnut coffee and the dreams inside of my head. I am so excited for the life that is ahead of me.  Let's get this show on the road.
                       


                                        

Ode to Autumn

I'm almost positive that Autumn has to be everyone's most favorite season. I can't imagine that there is someone wandering this earth right now who doesn't get a warm, cozy feeling over themselves when stores start putting out the "Pumpkin Spice" and "Grandma's Apple Pie" candles. Still burnt from the last rays of summer's sun, everyone looks forward to the crisp air that is starting to smell of a fireplace and digging their sweaters out of their closets.
My favorite fall days are spent in downtown Prescott. Starbucks' lines are to the door and red-nosed costumers, in their peacoats, are ordering Pumpkin Spice Lattes, the elderly couples, bundled in their matching scarfs, are walking their little Terrier that they have dressed in a tiny sweater, and the nip in the air has caused all of the trees to change their colors. 
I guess (what it is about Autumn) is that I know Christmas is just around the corner. The shops downtown have lights in their windows, they smell of cinnamon and pine, and a jingling wreath with reindeer bells greets you at their front door. And once the Christmas lights go up on the Courthouse Plaza, I'm officially in Christmas mode.
But Autumn....I mean, COME ON! I'll just list all of the things I love about Autumn and I'll bet you agree with 90% of them.
Halloween, the smell of fireplaces burning, candy corn in the candy aisles, pumpkin pie and eggnog, Starbucks, sweaters, scarves, Thanksgiving, falling leaves, football games, watching Hocus Pocus, apple cider, Black Friday, and sweatpants. 
I look forward to Autumn, each and every year. And I still stand by what I've said; everyone adores Autumn.
    

Love Letters

                     I wonder if true love even exists anymore.
I guess I'm considered to be pretty old-fashioned for my age. My friends all cringe at the thought of being married before they're 30. Maybe that's because their parents are all divorced....but that's besides the point. Well maybe it's not.
          I just want to be a younger wife and a young mom. Well that's the side of me that still believes real love just might be out there. I'm still on the fence about marriage. Let's just say IF true love really exists and it's just not what we were programmed to do by society and there is a guy I feel like I'm really meant to be with, then I'd want to be my own little version of the "perfect couple". You know, travel for a few years living in studio apartments, still cooking Ramen, then we'd get engaged on a foreign get away, and marry around 25. I'd have a kid or two by 30 and have settled down to a cozy little brick house on a cozy little street with a front porch and a backyard. I think every little girl has thought about this, or maybe I'm just a psycho.
                                                                                 So what if I'm a psycho, a girl can dream.
Okay, and if society, on the other hand, has actually ruined any chance at real love and divorce, adultery, and greed have become the norm, then why should I even try? I don't want to be the single mom, divorced at 35, and having to sign up for an eHarmony account.

               Anyways, even if I did meet the perfect man, would I even want to have kids? If I'm this worried about how loveless our world is becoming now, imagine what the world will be like when my children are looking for love. Do I want to have kids knowing they might be divorced? Knowing they could never know what the real meaning of love is? What parent wouldn't want their children to fall in love and live out their own perfect little vision of happily ever after??

Is a soul mate the person you were born to find? Is it written in the stars? Or is a soul mate someone you meet at the right place, at the right time? Is it because it's really love or is it because you are just compatible with that person and you're at the age where you know you need to pick a husband or wife because that's just what you're supposed to do? I guess if everyone knew the answer to these questions, love wouldn't be a fun little game anymore.
                Now my last question is this: When you do find love, is that feeling, those memories, worth the chance of you experiencing the most painful, heart shattering, break up of your life? What if the guy you think is "the one" leaves you for the girl he thinks is "the one"? Where does that leave you? I don't think I could ever recover, I don't think I'd ever believe in love ever again. That devastating heartbreak is probably the reason this world is full of bitter people.
                          The bottom line is: Do I put myself out there and risk heartbreak, or do I shelter myself and risk missing out on real love?

                               Is it really better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all?

...Blog

I want to right down how I feel

          So that when I'm an old woman, I can remember how good it felt to be young.